for most of my life, i felt crazy alongside classmates and peers who could have a few bites of a “treat” and put it down. throughout childhood, college, and into adulthood–even as i learned the “self control” of eating disorders–i believed that something was wrong with me, some defect that kept me from having the lack of interest others seemed to have about “off limit” foods.
when @theantidietplan posted the following thoughts on instagram yesterday, it helped me reframe those painful memories in the context of what i know now:
we grow up in a world that tells us in one breath to buy more candy and in the next that we should be stronger than eating it. this is the world that informs how we’re parented, and how we’re parented informs how we learn to feel about food–and, subsequently, about ourselves.
[side note: while there is no virtue in not craving what we culturally refer to as “treats,” feeling out-of-control about cravings may have a physical component that compounds the programming we’ve received. it’s possible to explore this with a holistic wellness practitioner using a non-diet approach!]
i’m grateful for what i’ve learned about myself and about the world that has allowed me to have compassion and flexibility in my food choices. i’m proud of myself for developing a trusting relationship with myself that allows me to make and honor these choices.