re-parenting around the idea of “treats”

 

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for most of my life, i felt crazy alongside classmates and peers who could have a few bites of a “treat” and put it down. throughout childhood, college, and into adulthood–even as i learned the “self control” of eating disorders–i believed that something was wrong with me, some defect that kept me from having the lack of interest others seemed to have about “off limit” foods.

when @theantidietplan posted the following thoughts on instagram yesterday, it helped me reframe those painful memories in the context of what i know now:

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we grow up in a world that tells us in one breath to buy more candy and in the next that we should be stronger than eating it. this is the world that informs how we’re parented, and how we’re parented informs how we learn to feel about food–and, subsequently, about ourselves.

[side note: while there is no virtue in not craving what we culturally refer to as “treats,” feeling out-of-control about cravings may have a physical component that compounds the programming we’ve received. it’s possible to explore this with a holistic wellness practitioner using a non-diet approach!]

i’m grateful for what i’ve learned about myself and about the world that has allowed me to have compassion and flexibility in my food choices. i’m proud of myself for developing a trusting relationship with myself that allows me to make and honor these choices.

personalized wellness & the role of a practitioner

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i get a lot of questions about what my nutrition practice entails, and what makes it holistic. since i generally don’t post the kind of content we’re used to seeing from wellness practitioners on social media–what you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat, advice for treating medical conditions, or the promotion of specific supplements–i see how my role as a healer may be unclear!

a large part of what inspired me to practice wellness through a holistic lens was my frustration with not being treated as a unique and whole individual, and i believe that a truly effective wellness practice is rooted in, as @thepointacu writes, “a completely personalized, and personal, experience.” 

what does de-personalized medical care look like? a common practice is treating symptoms without consideration of their root causes–which means without consideration of the patient as a whole.

that was certainly my experience with allopathic (ie conventional) medicine. at various times, i was prescribed pharmaceuticals for depression, anxiety, panic attacks, migraines, asthma, allergies, an autoimmune thyroid condition and a chronic illness called cyclic vomiting syndrome. i was rarely** asked about my diet, hydration habits, digestion, sleep hygiene, chemical exposure, history of trauma or whether i had a support system, among many many other things that can both inform and improve symptoms. i was never** referred for complementary treatment, like chiropractic, acupuncture or nutrition.

[** = with the exception of working with integrative MDs or DOs]

unfortunately, someone practicing from a holistic framework can be just as prescriptive in their recommendations, especially on social media. take a suggestion to treat constipation with magnesium instead of a laxative, for example. it’s a great recommendation, and certainly gets closer to treating the symptom at the root. but without knowing what specifically is contributing to someone’s constipation, this recommendation will nonetheless lack the individualism absolutely critical to holistic treatment, overlooking the underlying reasons for a symptom and what they may be communicating about a body and its needs.

we’ve been told that practitioners–whether the ones we seek care from in person or ones we encounter in articles, books or online–are experts, and that their job is to tell us what’s wrong with us and how to fix it. and while they may truly be experts in diagnosing conditions and treating symptoms, a practitioner is not an expert in YOUR experience–and it’s the specifics of YOUR experience that are the key to sustainably addressing YOUR symptoms and system!

in my opinion, the job of a wellness practitioner is not just to tell you what’s wrong with you or how to fix it–even though that’s what we’ve been programmed to believe and expect. rather, it is our job as your healers to be your partner on your journey of healing, to help support you in the curiosity, awareness, and skill-building necessary to empower you to have an experience of wellness and fulfillment.

i believe that healing requires the following (very personalized) things:

  • an ability to listen to AND hear our bodies
  • an understanding of what they are communicating
  • access to a toolkit of things that help meet our bodies’ needs
  • knowledge of how and when to use the contents of such a toolkit

in short: CURIOSITY, AWARENESS, TRUST, RESPECT, RESOURCES, LITERACY, PATIENCE and PRACTICE.

and in my opinion, the role of your practitioners should be as your PARTNER on the journey of wellness, to teach you and help you implement and practice these building blocks of healing & wellbeing.

i do think non-individualized wellness education plays an important role, especially at a time when many of us seek out health info on social media. for example, if no one ever told you about a more preventive or holistic approach you wouldn’t know to seek it out! but i think it’s important for this information to go in-hand with a recommendation to consult a practitioner and determine what’s appropriate and effective for YOU specifically.

the truly magical thing to me about a holistic approach is the feeling of empowerment that can come from understanding and seeing how every aspect of what goes on physiologically, emotionally and environmentally is interconnected in our overall experience. but this awareness can definitely feel overwhelming, especially if it’s new, and it may seem easier to turn away from it and shut it down.

please know that getting support so you can feel safe & empowered in your own experience is where the relief & sustainable solutions are. people like me are that support! so if you have questions about holistic wellness or about how to find appropriate care for any dis-ease you’re experiencing, please reach out! you can read more about how i practice, find me on instagram at @healwithmasha, or schedule a complimentary 30-minute consultation.

more content, over on instagram!

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did you know that there’s LOTS of content that doesn’t get posted on the blog? most of my cooking and produce posts and many shorter posts can’t be found here, as well as any content i repost from other practitioners. visit and give us a follow at @healwithmasha!

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remember last month when i talked about tools for shifting perspective?

i used to love the reset of a new school year, so labor day weekend serves as a reminder of fresh starts, feeling hopeful & being present.

without the external structure of a return to school, i took a day trip to ojai this weekend to celebrate this intention.

the changing of seasons is a potent time of shift. you can tune into your senses to “see” with fresh eyes what’s already changing. is the light beginning to look different? does the air feel (or sound) more crisp? what about the color or texture of the plants & trees around you?

according to chinese medicine, autumn is a time not just of standard seasonal change but specifically of letting go. it is what our bodies & environment naturally do at this time of year, but can be a challenging or painful process. nurture yourself by tuning in & tending to your internal environment. there are many ways to do this; start by focusing on your breath, and look into working with a practitioner for support!

produce is always a beautiful way to nurture, experience & appreciate even a subtle changing of seasons. whether or not we feel the shift into autumn at the end of the month, our produce will!

if you’re a farmers market shopper, approach your next market trip with greater curiosity–visit stands you might not usually, becoming aware of what’s new for the season. deviate from your shopping list, even if just to look!

if you do most of your shopping at the grocery store, it can still be a great experiment to visit a farmers market. you can examine, touch & smell almost everything, and many things can be tasted as well–just ask for samples. definitely ask about anything that is unfamiliar; farmers market folks are so friendly, & eager to share their wealth of knowledge about their products.

it’s your turn to think about (& tell me!) what autumn means to you.
*what are you looking forward to as the season changes?
*is there a project that’s been waiting for a fresh start?
*what is something you’re ready to let go of?
*is there a favorite fall food that you’re excited to come back into season, or a new one you’re eager to try?

on a personal note: my refugee story

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today marks the 30th anniversary of my family’s refugee migration from russia to the united states, the precise date that we arrived. i don’t talk about it much, but i think it’s important to now.

30 years ago, with the support of HIAS–the refugee agency that worked to get soviet jews out and resettled in the u.s., and does so for refugees from a variety of backgrounds–my family was allowed to leave russia. after years of legwork and waiting, we were relieved of our soviet passports, sent to austria for processing, then on to italy, where we would apply for asylum.

despite the extreme hardship and fear, the level of dignity that we were afforded is not to be taken for granted:
– parents were not separated from children
– we had access to organizations that were fighting for us & our rights
– while things like shelter, food and medical care were only partly funded by refugee organizations, we had reasonable access to these basic human necessities
– above all else, we had autonomy.

my family was approved by the u.s. pretty quickly (in under 3 months), but many others waited longer and were denied with no explanation. though it was the u.s. government (after decades of pressure from HIAS) that had pleaded with russia to let jews out, as the flow of jewish refugees from russia increased america’s gates inexplicably shut to them. a 1989 piece of legislation which sought to end the ad hoc approach to refugee admissions resettlement forced those gates open, granting refugee status to those who had been approved for u.s. entry but denied refugee designation.

my ability to call myself an american is a product of the persistence of people who fought for those like me and my family, in a political climate that was not sufficiently offended or threatened by our presence in the u.s. to fight to keep us out. people weren’t always nice to us, but at least we felt like our presence here had the stamp of approval of the u.s. government.

i am in awe of the bravery of today’s refugees and asylum seekers. i’m heartbroken by the atrocities they endure that are a perversion of our commitment to those threatened populations. in my case, people being activists and staying politically engaged made a life-changing difference; i hope this will be the case for those seeking safety now, too.